Mike Shor: Humor




Rules of Research




Rule of Theory:
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is a great deal of difference.

Rule of Practice:
If it happens, it must be possible.

Law of Invisible Phenomena:
The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Rule of Error:
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Rule of Truth:
Science is Truth; don't be misled by facts.

Law of Finance:
On a seasonally adjusted basis, there are only six months in a year.

Law of Replication:
Never replicate a successful experiment.

Law of Replication:
Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time.

Rule of Presentation:
First draw your curves, then plot your data.

Rule of Order:
To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

Rule of Accuracy:
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Rule of Accuracy:
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Rule of Reason:
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.

Rule of Failure:
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.

Rule of Statistical Inference:
Thou shalt not make statistical inference in the absence of a model.

Rule of Citations:
There are no answers, only cross references.

Rule of Discovery:
A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.

Rule of Proofreading:
No one you ask for help will see the mistakes either.

Rule of Success:
An experiment is successful if no more than half the data must be discarded to agree with the theory.

Rule of Experience:
No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can serve as a bad example.

Law of Persistence:
Enough research will tend to support you theory.

Rule of Thumb:
When in doubt, fit a curve.

Rule of Soft Science:
Never take more than three data points. There will always be some kind of graph paper on which they fall in a straight line.

Corollary:
If you have only one kind of graph paper, never take more than two data points.

Rule of Progress:
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Voltaire)

Rule of Refereeing:
That which is true is not new and that which is new is not true.

Rule of Religion:
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.

Rule of Inference:
43% of all statistics are worthless.

Rule of Research
Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism. Copying many ideas from many authors is research.