Mappin' the MillenniumBy Bruce Barry
As a reader, I usually avoid end-of-year lists of bests and worsts that routinely fill the newspaper and magazine space ordinarily occupied by actual journalism or criticism. As a writer, I find the temptation to assault others with some list of my own no more compelling. But just this once, I choose ceremony over principle (OK, maybe not just this once) by joining the In Review Writer’s Choice Awards lineup. The four-digit turn of the calendar means a rare chance to think decade, century and millennium all at once, and I figure to miss the next such opportunity. So, herewith, an assortment of notables and loathables in no particular order.
•Most Significant Technological Advance of the Decade: the Internet.
•Most Overblown Technological Advance of the Century: the Internet. An e-paradox: Yes, the ’Net changes how some of us work, learn, communicate and shop. But it does so only for the small proportion of planet dwellers who are sufficiently wealthy and/or educated to be in a position to seize its advantages. Plus, the Web’s great promise is fast being revealed as a new medium for the ago old prostitutions of marketing and advertising; it may accelerate consumer culture, but offers little promise of transforming it. All of which makes it a compelling short-run phenomenon, but as yet an indeterminate force for the long run.
(Sidebar: Most Bothersome Linguistic and Journalistic Trend of the Decade: the prefixal "e-" for e-verything e-lectronic, whether e-ssential or e-xtraneous. E-nough already.)
•The Century’s Best Innovation: plastic thermal mugs that keep coffee hot and fit in a car’s cup holder. (Close second: the electric guitar.)
•The Century’s Worst Innovation: the designated hitter. (Runner-up: those pesky little subscription cards that fall out of magazines.)
•Tennessee Story of the Decade: State and local governments struggle to provide barely adequate health and educational services amidst a sustained economic expansion, and yet widespread opposition to changing how the state does its fiscal business remains entrenched.
•Tennessee Story of the Century: I’ve lived here only since 1991. How the hell should I know? Probably involves some epic struggle against progressive taxation.
•Five Biggest Canards of the Century:
(1.) Separate but equal. Hatched in the 19th century, but ascendant for more than half the 20th. Replaced in late 20th century by the fantasy that colorblind access to elite institutions, using only "merit" that flows from race-constrained opportunities, will eradicate race-based privilege.
(2) Mutually assured destruction. Half a century of cold war defense budgets are dramatic testimony to the bankruptcy of military geopolitics.
(3) Social conservativism. Arguably one of the modern era’s outstanding political oxymorons, it projects a basic contradiction between the unmitigated pursuit of self-interest and the promotion of community.
(4) Trickle down economics. Hmm, turns out the more that fiscal and tax policy rewards the rich, the richer the rich get in relation to the poor. Duh.
(5) Publicly financed stadiums are sound community investments. Res ipsa loquitur.
•Unfulfilled Promise of the Decade: Campaign finance reform. Those with the power to fix the system are the very ones who benefit from its perpetuation. And so we get speeches, hearings and high-minded commitments to reform. Unfortunately, while actions may speak louder than words, actions don’t make campaign contributions.
•Unfulfilled Promise of the Century: Collective global security through international organizations, such as the United Nations. There are many natural obstacles to an effective UN as a mechanism for maintaining peace and security, but artificial ones such as the irrational hostility of the political conservatives (both here and abroad) keep this bargain-priced gift marginalized.
•News Story of the Century: An easy one: Mets take World Series in 1969. Of course, after that obvious choice there are so many good runner-up possibilities – market crashes, war beginnings and endings, assassinations, treaties, expanding global trade, Mets win World Series in 1986, scientific discoveries – it gives you a headache just thinking about it.
•News Story of the Millennium: The Norman Invasion in 1066, making William the first of the Norman kings of England. Was it bigger than the French or American revolutions? Bigger than the Magna Carta and the Bill of Rights? Bigger than WWI or WWII? Bigger than DaVinci? Bigger than Lewinski? Hard to say, but it changed the course of European history in a few short weeks. And hey, you have to get behind a guy who gets to call himself "The Conqueror" in all the history books. I’m sure the CNN special report theme ditty and slogan ("Hassle at Hastings"?) would have been killer.
Return to home page.